Domestic Conflict Info For Coworkers, Family, Friends, Neighbours, and Peers

I think that someone I know is being abused. What should I do?

You can learn about different types of abuse and warning signs.  Abuse does not just include physical forms of violence.  It may also include: emotional, verbal, sexual, spiritual, cultural, and financial abuse as well as crimes such as stalking or neglect.

 

For more details see: Definitions and Types of Violence

Types of Abuse and Violence by Criminal Code Definition

Warning Signs of IV-IPV

I’m hesitant or scared to try and help. What do I do next?

Don’t talk yourself out of reaching out and helping someone who is a victim of abuse.  They need your help.  You might feel like…

• I don’t know how to help
• I think it’s a private matter and none of my business
• I don’t see any bruises
• I believe if they really want help they will just ask
• There’s nothing I can do
• I don’t want to interfere
• I don’t know if that’s really what I saw – maybe I am mistaken
• I am afraid to become involved
• I might be wrong
• I am afraid of damaging my relationship with the individuals involved
• It’s probably not as bad as I think it is
• I don’t know what to say
• I am probably overreacting
• I am afraid I will say the wrong things and make things worse
• I don’t want my family to become involved

Please ask for help. Talk to a trusted friend or contact the Domestic Violence Unit at Family Service Regina at (306)757-6675.  You can contact the Regina Police Service Non-Emergency line 306-777-6500 or visit the front desk of the police station for advice.  You can also visit our resource list which provides contact information for local help lines, police, legal resources, shelters, counselling and support services.

How should I approach and talk to a person I suspect is being abused?

Your number one priority should be to make sure that the victim remains safe.  When you talk to them make sure you are in a safe environment where you won’t be interrupted.  Do not approach the victim while the abuser is around.  You may ask the individual questions such as, Do you feel safe? Is anyone in your life hurting you or making you feel uncomfortable? What do you want to do? How can I help?

 

It is important that you show them your support and let them decide what their next steps will be.  Do not try and force them to make any decisions they are not ready for. Provide them with information and guidance but do not try and take over the situation.

What if the victim denies the abuse or does not want help?

Some individuals may not realize that that they are being abused, they may be in denial about the abuse or they may feel uncomfortable talking about it.

Do not try and force the conversation if they do not want to discuss it.  Let them know that they can contact you anytime and when they are ready to talk you will be there.  Be respectful of their decisions.

Should I confront the abuser?

 No.  Remember that your main priority should be to ensure that the victim remains as safe as possible.  Confronting the abuser may lead to consequences and further abuse against the victim.

What are some other ways that I can help them?

• Learn about: making a safety plan

local resources

reporting to the police

peace bonds

criminal harassment

• Keep in regular contact with the victim.
• If you witness any abuse keep a record of the date and what happened.
• Contact the Domestic Violence Unit at Family Service Regina at (306)757-6675 for information about domestic violence support services.

 

If you ever believe that someone is in immediate danger call 911.

Resources:

Family Service Regina. How to Help when a Friend tells you she is being Abused. https://familyserviceregina.com/how-to-help/.

 

Public Health Agency of Canada. What to do if someone you know is being abused. 2017.

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/sfv-avf/info/ha-know-savoir-abus-eng.php.

 

Public Health Agency of Canada Federal Elder Abuse Initiative. “It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults – What You Can Do When Abuse or Neglect Is Happening to an Older Adult in Your Life. 2012. http://publications.gc.ca/collections/collection_2012/aspc-phac/HP20-18-2012-eng.pdf.